Over the Edge
by B-Elanna
Summary: Chapter 6! * COMPLETE* Ron everhears a conversation between Harry and Hermione and completely misinterpretes it
1. Default Chapter

Hello, hello

Here I am with my third HP story already, although I must say that this story actually doesn't belong to me. The original story belongs to AnnitaS. This originally was a Star Trek: Voyager story, but I have altered and changed the characters to those made up by Jo Rowing.

Some sentences are mine, so if you come across some grammar mistakes, please inform me so I can correct them properly. Thanks.

I totally loved this Star Trek fanfic, so that's why I just had to share it with all of you. If you want to read the original story just mail me (b_elanna@paris.com) or look at the KRET RATS homepage. It's of course better than this version.

I've already mailed to AnnitaS@aol.com to ask her for permission, but I think she has changed her e-mail address, because I still haven't heard from her.

If you know her, please ask her if she likes the story and if she minds that I've changed it into a Harry Potter fanfic. Thank you!!

Notes: 

1. This story takes place at the end of Ron's, Hermione's and Harry's fourth year!

2.  Just pretend that no one died during the Tri-wizard Tournament and that the exams did take place.

3. In the original story the father of the guy, always puts him down, in my story it's Ron's grandfather. So just pretend he plays a significant part in Ron's life! (maybe you could read Changes in Ron written by Carey, that will give you some idea of what I mean)

4. Sometimes you may think that the story doesn't make sense and that the people are OoC, but you must remember that this is a fanfic. I did do my best to make the characters as real as possible, but I don't think I've really succeeded. If you have any suggesting feel free to give them to me!! 

Oh and just pretend everyone has his own room.

I've already finished this story, so you don't have to worry that you have to wait very long for the next chapter. I'm planning to upload a chap every week, but if I get many reviews I will of course update more frequently. This story has 6 chapters!

As always please review. I hope you like the story!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the plot! Boohoo L

OVER THE EDGE 

Chapter one: The Truth

Ron Weasley sank down on the bed in his room, laid back and let out a

long and heavy sigh.  Well, it hadn't been so bad, really, had it?  She hadn't

actually told him to go jump out the nearest window.  But then, she hadn't

jumped into his waiting arms either.  Ron played back the scene in his mind,

trying to figure out exactly what had happened.

He hadn't intended to bring it up at all.  There had been a group of them

all sitting at a table in the Three Broomsticks having a few drinks and sharing a few wild stories. 

Uncharacteristically, Neville had been the life of the party this night,

while Ron sat back and watched his classmate with an affectionate smile on his face. Seeing Neville cut loose, which happened so rarely, always gave him an absurd swell of pride.  He knew he had a hand in opening his introverted, clumsy friend up to

some of the more raucous pleasures of life.  Without Ron's sometimes

questionable influence, Neville tended to be too much within himself, too quiet,

too dedicated.  Almost from the beginning, Ron had felt the need to draw Neville

out, show him there was a world beyond school and that humans needed fellowship and camaraderie at least occasionally.

He looked over at his best friend Harry Potter. He seemed to be enjoying himself a lot and that pleased Ron very much. He had been very quiet lately. A lot had happened this year after all: The Triwizard Tournament, which unfortunately led to the short abduction of Harry and the rebirth of the Dark Lord. But still Harry was looking better each week, recovering slowly from the pains he had gone trough. 

He and Hermione had tried to help and support him as much as they could. He just hoped it was enough.

 For his part, Harry had given Ron something he had never truly known.  A

sense of calm assurance.  It had never been easy for Ron to trust anyone.  Heaven

only knew he had had precious little reason to do so. He had been tormented by his brothers al too often and primary school didn't go easy for him. Not that he wasn't good at school, he just didn't get along with most of the students.

But with Harry, trust came easily.  He had given Ron something so rare: unconditional friendship.  Ron had grabbed onto that offered strand and

held on to it like a lifeline.  With Harry's help, he'd pulled himself out of the

darkness his life had been before Hogwarts.  Now, he could occasionally just sit

back and relax and enjoy himself without having to be the centre of attention. 

He recognized the value of quiet contemplation.  This had been just such a

moment.

His eyes wandered around the table, taking in the faces of his friends. 

How extraordinary that word, especially in the plural, sounded to him.  He fully

recognized the irony of his situation.  Here, at his new school, he had finally found a place to be himself.  He had been given a chance to prove himself, and so far, he had done well.  Yes, Ron Weasley was happier than he had been in a very, very long time.

He chuckled as Neville finished another funny story and winked at Parvati Patil as she took the opportunity to place her hand lightly Neville's forearm. 

Her sister, Padma, had noticed it too, and, not to be outdone, she grabbed hold

of the young man's other arm, much to the chagrin of Dean Thomas who had

escorted her here this evening.  But Neville didn't notice the flash of jealousy. 

Ron almost laughed again at the embarrassment on his friend's face at his

popularity.  He caught Neville's eye and flashed him a bright, encouraging grin. 

It was all that he needed.  Once more he launched into a story from his life with his grandmother.  This one, Ron had heard and though he tried to listen politely,

his attention began to wander.  It didn't have to go far.

Sitting across the crowded table from him, between Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas was Hermione Granger.  There had been a time when they couldn't go one evening without fighting.  He couldn't count the number of times she had called him a pig or worse.  

But that had changed.  Not all at once, but over time and through several shared perils, she had softened her opinion.  Ron couldn't have been happier about the change in attitude.  He truly valued her friendship.  The more he got to know her, the more comfortable he felt with her.  She and Harry were just about the only people he had ever felt safe enough with to occasionally reveal his real self.  And while he knew Hermione would always listen to him when he needed to talk, somehow he knew that it was Harry who would really understand him when he was feeling angry or bitter or hurt. Unlike the somewhat bookish and naïve Hermione, Harry understood because he'd been there, too.

It was good to have someone who understood.  And good to have friends to

laugh with.  In the last few months, Hermione had allowed herself to enjoy their company, to actually openly laugh with them.  The sharp barbs that had begun her

relationship with Ron had lately developed into a enjoyable sharing of the dry

wit they both possessed.  It was no longer a battle, but a game, one they both

enjoyed.

When Ron turned his eyes toward Hermione this particular evening in

The Three Broomsticks, he had fully expected to see her enjoying Neville's performance as much as he was.  But when he looked at her, he was surprised by the pensive expression

in her dark eyes that were trained, not at Neville, but at him.  When she realized

he was looking at her, she almost jumped and quickly averted her eyes, looking

for a moment down at her hands, then a quick glance back at him, a slightly

embarrassed smile crossed her face, then she turned her attention to the story.

Words echoed in Ron's mind, words spoken only a few weeks before in their

Common Room.  In particular, what she had said as she stormed away from him.

"Next time there's a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as last resort"

It didn't have to mean anything, but Ron chose to take it as an offering of

hope.  The fact that she seemed as lost in thought as he was, could be another

good sign.  Maybe something good would come out of the awkward situation in which

they had found themselves just a few weeks before.  It was certain their

relationship had changed-how could it not after what had happened?  The things

they had said to each other while having yet another blazing row.

The table erupted in laughter Neville finished his tale, bringing Ron's

thoughts back from their reverie.

"How 'bout that game you promised me, Harry?" Dean asked.  "I'm still

betting I can beat you."

"Get your money ready." Ron advised him. 

"Harry's been taking lessons from an expert."  He brushed his nails across the

front of his ropes to make it clear exactly who he meant.

"You mean Oliver Wood, of course," Hermione, remarked, a glint in her eye

as she watched Ron's reaction.

Ron offered his most wounded look.  "I'm crushed."

"You were when Oliver got through clobbering you, as I recall," Harry

reminded him.

Ron turned his affronted look toward his friend.  "Et tu, Harry?"

"Come on," Dean called as he rose from the table.  "The game is waiting."

"Can we come watch?" asked Padma.

"Of course, you can," Dean smiled engagingly.

"Oh, let's go," gushed Parvati, still clutching Harry's arm as they stood up. 

Everyone rose and headed for the pool table except Ron.

"Aren't you coming?" Harry asked.

Ron shook his head.  "I think I'll just sit here for a while."

Harry gave his friend a worried look.  "Everything all right?"

Ron smiled broadly.  "Just fine, Harry.  You just make sure you don't

make me look bad.  After all, I taught you everything I know."

"That's why you have so little left," Hermione teased and Ron laughed.

Not completely convinced, Harry nodded and moved away with the crowd.  Only

Hermione hesitated.

"You're awfully quiet tonight," she observed.

Ron sighed.  "I'm a quiet sort of guy."

"Since when?"

"Hermione?  You coming?" called Seamus.

"In a minute," she replied and took her seat again.  "What is it, Ron?" she

asked softly.

He looked up into her eyes, gentle and concerned, and made up his mind. 

"I've been thinking a lot about what happened at the Yule Ball and everything that took place afterwards."

"Oh," she replied, averting her eyes.

"We can't just pretend things are the same as they were.  We need to talk

about this, Hermione."

"I thought we did that yesterday," she replied.

"We started talking yesterday.  And I know you've been thinking about it,

too."

"I guess so," she admitted reluctantly.

"Hermione, you know I'm attracted to you.  You said yourself that I've made

that clear.  I don't deny it.  I don't want to deny it.  I can't tell you how

much I value your friendship, but I also can't help hoping... well... for

something more."

"Ron, I...."

"I'm not asking for some kind of commitment.  I'm just asking that you not

shut me out.  That you give me... us... a chance."  The silence stretched out

uncomfortably as Hermione stared at the table before her.  "Let's go to Hogsmeade together tomorrow night."

Her eyes flew wide as she gazed at him and the obvious emotions he read in

their brown depths were surprise and fear.

She shook her head nervously.  "I... I don't think that's a good idea right

now."

"Why not?" he asked.  "Just a little time alone together, companionship,

conversation,... maybe something to drink?"

She was still shaking her head.  "Ron, I need more time to think about...

everything."

"Hermione....  He was about to protest, but thought the better of it. 

Slowly releasing his breath, he nodded.  "Okay, I can understand that."

She stood up abruptly.  "We'd better join the others or they'll wonder what

happened to us."

Ron forced a smile.  "You go ahead.  I think I'll call it a night."

"It's early," she pointed out.

"It's been a long day," he replied, rising from his own chair.  "Go ahead. 

Give Harry moral support.  And tell him I'm claiming my percentage of his

winnings."

She hesitated a moment, then smiled and nodded before turning toward the

table.  Ron watched her go, then headed for the door without a backward glance.

That had been less than an hour ago.  And now, Ron Weasley was mentally

kicking himself for his stupidity.  He'd moved too fast, pushed her before she

was ready.  He knew it when he'd seen the panic in her eyes.  The last thing he'd wanted to do was scare the girl!

Now what was he going to do?  The obvious answer was to back off and give

her some breathing room.  Maybe he should stay away from her for a while.  That

thought held absolutely no appeal for him.  And besides, it could actually make

matters worse.

He just couldn't leave things like this.  Checking the clock at his

bedside, he decided it was still relatively early.  Chances were she was still

in the Three Broomsticks. He owed her an apology at the very least.  And he needed to make

it clear that he wasn't trying to push her into something she wasn't ready for. 

That's the ticket, he thought.  A little repair work was definitely called for. 

Having come to the decision, he bounded off the bed and headed for the door.

Hermione Granger wasn't paying much attention to the game.  She couldn't get her mind off her conversation with Ron.  And she couldn't seem to forget the look of hurt in his eyes when she'd refused his invitation.  Damn the man!  Only Ron Weasley could make her feel guilty and angry at the same time!  When she thought about it, she had to admit to herself that Ron was making her feel a lot of things recently she'd never felt before.  And she wasn't altogether sure she was ready for those feelings.

Ron was ready.  He'd made that clear.  Oh, if it had only been someone besides Ron Weasley!  How could she start a relationship with someone who she fought with all the time? Who was so immature sometimes and was so completely the opposite from her? 

And how could she not?  She had come to know a very different Ron Weasley

from the man he represented himself to be.  She'd seen behind the facade.  He'd

trusted her enough to reveal glimpses of his wounded soul.  She knew some of the

pain he'd endured in his life and she, of all people, could understand the need

to put up walls of protection against further hurts.  It was the Ron Weasley she

had glimpsed on those rare and beautiful moments that was threatening to capture

her heart.  She could hardly admit it to herself, but it was getting more and

more impossible to deny.

So why was she still so afraid?

"Hermione"  At the sound of her name, she shook herself back to reality

to find Seamus Finnigan standing before her.

He chuckled.  "You looked as if you were a thousand light years away.  Not

thinking about those books of yours, were you?"

"No," she replied in irritation.  "I do think of other things

occasionally."

"I'm glad to hear it," he replied, then leaned a little closer to her and

grinned.  "Maybe you'd think about going out with me tomorrow night?  I know

you'd enjoy it."

Geez, she thought hotly.  Was every guy at Hogwarts in heat?  She was

about to tell Seamus just how little she'd enjoy spending another minute in his

company, but Ron's downcast face flashed before her eyes and she knew she didn't

want to be the cause of hurting two men's feelings in the same night, even if one

of them was Seamus Finnegan.

"Maybe some other time," she smiled and moved around next to Harry as he thought about his next move.  Kim glanced up at her and caught her eye with a knowing

expression before returning his attention to the game. When he had made his move, Dean checkmated him immediately.  Groans

and cheers went up around the table.

"That's it, Harry," his opponent crowed.  "You want to settle up now, or

you want me to relieve you of some more sickles?"

Harry shook his head.  "No, I think that'll do it for me.  I'll give you your

winnings in the morning."

"Fine by me," Dean replied, then smiling at the Patil sisters, offered

both his arms.  "To the victor, goes the spoils.  And, ladies, I'm ready to be

spoiled!"

Padma and Parvati giggled as they each took an arm and allowed themselves to

be led away from the chess game.  That left only Harry, Hermione and Seamus, who

was about to make another suggestion when Harry grabbed Hermione's arm.  "Come

on.  I need someone to console me.  And we have that assignment from Professor Snape to go over."  He glanced at Seamus as he steered

Hermione toward the door.  "Night, Seamus."

"Uh, goodnight," he replied, then shrugged and headed off to rejoin Dean and the Patils.

"Thanks for the save," Hermione whispered.

"What's a friend for?" he replied offering his arm in mimicry of Seamus'

gesture and Hermione laughed.

"Just don't refer to me as 'spoils'!"

Ron had entered the holodeck and had just reached the door to The Three Broomsticks

when he heard Hermione's laughter and saw her heading toward him on Harry's arm. 

Suddenly his resolve melted and he instantly decided this was a very bad idea. 

If she was laughing, she obviously had recovered her good mood and his appearance

could only serve to dampen it once more.  Quickly he ducked out of sight just

around the corner of the holographic building, out of the glow of the

streetlight.  He'd wait until they left, then go back to his quarters.  Tomorrow,

he'd apologize.  As he crouched in the darkness, he heard Hermione's voice again.

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Harry," she told her escort.

"You'd probably be having a nice romantic date tomorrow night," Harry

replied as they paused just outside the door.

"Fat chance I'll ever accept his invitation!"  Ron felt his stomach tighten

at the derision in her tone.

"I think you showed a great deal of restraint in declining the invitation. 

I'm surprised you didn't tell him exactly what you thought of the idea."

"Oh, I very nearly did.  And maybe I should have.  He doesn't seem to be

able to get it into his thick skull that I'm just not interested.  He just can't

believe I wouldn't be attracted to someone as wonderful as he is!"  

The scorn dripped from her voice and Ron felt as if he'd been kicked in the stomach.  He couldn't be hearing this.

"As wonderful as he 'thinks' he is, you mean.  I guess he's just not very

bright.  Good looking, though."

Ron felt dizzy with shock at Harry's words.  This couldn't be his best

friend talking.  Not the Harry who stood by him even when he'd learned the worst

about him.  How could the same man who had stood up for him and protected him so many times, could be so mocking and sarcastic now?

"Looks aren't everything, Harry," Hermione replied.  "Oh, he can be sweet,

but it's all so superficial."

"Maybe I should have a talk with him," Harry suggested.  "Explain to him

that you're far too good for him."

"I don't need you to fight my battles for me," she protested.  "No, he's

a nuisance, but a minor one.  He's just not worth the effort.  And, besides, I

actually feel a little sorry for him."

Ron's heart was pounding painfully in his chest, the beating so loud in his

ears, he thought it would drown out the hurtful words.

"Granger, I do believe your getting soft around the edges."

"Maybe I've had some good influences," she replied affectionately.  "But

don't expect too much."

"Hey, I'll take you just as you are."

"That's part of what I love about you, Harry," Hermione laughed.

It was the same laugh that always sounded like music to Ron, but this time,

the sound of it seemed to cut into him like a knife.

"So, when do we announce our engagement?" Harry asked.

She laughed again.  "Come on.  We have some... homework to do."

"Anything you say," Harry replied.

Ron stood frozen to the spot as he listened to the sound of footsteps

fading away.  He had almost forgotten how to breathe.  A shiver ran through his

body and seemed to galvanize him into motion.  He couldn't let himself think

about what he'd just heard.  His only conscious thought was to get to his four-poster bed as quickly as possible.  When he had finally reached Hogwarts, he was dimly aware of passing students

in the corridor, but he couldn't look at their faces.  Once, one of them called

a greeting, but he left it unanswered, afraid to trust his voice, afraid to break

the concentration that held him together.

Okay people that's it for this week. I'll update the next chap next Thursday, or so.

But if I get many reviews I will update sooner, of course J

I'm also in need for a beta-er for this fanfic and my other: Gifted.

If you want the job, please e-mail me at: b_elanna@paris.com

Or just put in to a review 

Thank you so much, cause my grammar sucks!!

Please Review!!

Thank you!!


	2. The hell has begun

Hey everyone

Wallaa chapter two!!

Thanks for your reviews I updated this story three days earlier. I thought two reviews would make up one day of waiting and since I've received 6 reviews…

Anyways, I hope you like this chap as much as you did the last one.

Cosmoz: I hope your personal problem was also sorted out in the end. I'm sorry to hear that you know how this feels I hope it was along time ago. Anyways I would say read on and you'll find out in the end if everything turns out okayJ

HermioneM: Sorry about the cliffhanger. But I just had to stop somewhere. I hope you like this chap too. 

Aja Tres': I have re-uploaded the last chap but this time in HTML so I hope it's more readable now, otherwise I'll change it again. I don't know why all the paragraphs were missing cause I had made them. Anyways thanks for pointing it out to meJ

Kori Bischoff: Make it all better, he, hmmm I'll see. Nah, just kidding I like happy endings J

Carey: Thank youJ it's sad now….

Kiko: well I didn't wait till the next week, so I hope you appreciate that. Thanks for your review. 

Chapter two: The Hell has begun 

At last he reached his room and almost stumbled inside, immediately

Locking the door.  Only then did he let himself feel, only in the

safety of solitude did he allow the pain to return.  It cut through to his very

soul.  He leaned back against the sealed door.  How could he have been so wrong? 

It was like a terrible nightmare.  The two people he had allowed himself to trust

had been lying to him all this time, stringing him along.  They didn't want to

hurt his feelings.  They... pitied him.  He'd begun to let himself believe that

all the pain was behind him.  He remembered how happy he had been earlier that

evening, sitting at the table in The Three Broomsticks' with his friends, with people he

cared about who cared about him.  Could it all have been a lie?  Could he have

really let himself believe such a lie?  Was he that stupid?

...just not very bright, Harry had said.  Had those words really been

spoken by "his" Harry?  He'd let the person, who was closer than any friend in his

life and he'd counted himself blessed to have found such a friend.  He remembered

the times Harry had seemed to look up to him, the closeness that had developed

between them.  The long talks they had had.

*Maybe I should have a talk with him.  Explain to him that you're far too

good for him.*

Each remembered word burned through him like hot coals.  And just when he

thought the pain couldn't be worse, another voice spoke in his head.

*He doesn't seem to be able to get it into his thick skull that I'm just

not interested....  He can be sweet, but it's all so superficial....  He's just

not worth the effort....*

Oh, God, he hadn't felt this alone since those days back at primary school. 

He was in love with Hermione. He had admitted it to himself and tried to make

it clear to her how he felt.  He had been so sure she had felt something for him,

that she was just afraid to admit it because of the pain from her own unhappy

past.  But it was all a sham.  She had never felt anything for him but... pity.

*I actually feel a little sorry for him... sorry for him... sorry for

him....*

The words echoed over and over in his brain and suddenly he laughed.  Harry

was right.  He was stupid.  Had he really believed someone could know him as he

really was and not be repulsed by what they saw?  Who wanted to commit themselves

to a loser?  His grandfather had seen him for what he was....

You've always been a failure, Ronald, and you always will be.

A failure.  A loser.  A... nothing.

He was shivering now, so hard his teeth rattled, and his knees no longer

had enough starch to hold him up.  He slid down until he sat hard on the floor

and the shivering wrenched a sob from him.  Once begun, he could hold back no

longer.  He hadn't even realized how wet his face already was.  How long had he

been crying?  He didn't care.  He didn't care about anything right now.  Not

here, sitting on the floor of his room, in this place he had thought of as

home, the first real home he'd had since he was a child.  Now, once again, he had

no home.  It had all been a lie.  A lie he'd told himself.  He'd fooled himself

into letting down his defenses and now he couldn't even find them anymore.

He cried until exhaustion overtook him and he fell into a restless sleep

filled with dreams that all ended the same.

He was alone.

He found himself slumped on the floor by the doorway when the clock's

Pre-set announcement of the time woke him.  0700.  Time to get up, get showered

and dressed and meet Harry and Hermione for....

It hit him once more like a sledge hammer.  No, he wouldn't be meeting

Harry and Hermione for breakfast.  Not ever again.  He didn't even want to get

up off the floor, much less set one foot outside his room.

But he had to.  No matter what they thought of him, no matter what he knew

was true about himself, he still had to follow classes. And he couldn't let the teachers down too, especially Dumbledore. Headmaster Dumbledore!  He had believed in him, trusted him.  He

held onto that thought and forced one breath after another, in and out of his

lungs.  He sat there for a long time, just concentrating on that one thought.

Finally, he was able to force himself shakily to his feet.  He was a student on this school. He just had to go on. His parents had paid for school stuff and he just couldn't let him down. If you fail classes they can't support you any longer, Ron. It was the one thing he'd always held onto and he grabbed

hold of it now.  You've done it before, Ronnie-boy, he told himself.  Do it now. 

Pull yourself together.  Get yourself ready and go to your classes.  Don't let them know

how much it hurts.  Don't let them see how weak you are.  He pushed himself away

from the wall and slowly made it into the bathroom.  His hands were shaking as

he ran the water into the sink and splashed it into his face.  For several

minutes, he leaned against the sink, unable to bring his face up to see his own

reflection in the mirror.  When he did, he grimaced.  The man looking back at him

was almost a stranger.  Not the Ron Weasley of just twenty-four hours ago.  But

there was something familiar about that face.  It had belonged to him once.  He'd

thought he'd seen the last of it.  No such luck.

Luck.  What a joke!  There was no such thing as luck.  His grandfather had told

him that, too.

*You make your own life, Ronald.  People who attribute their success or

failure to luck don't know how to take responsibility for their own actions.*

Okay, Dad.  No luck, not good or bad.  Just what I am.

But what am I?

"Hey Ron!!

The sound came from behind the door.  He had to fight down a sob at the sound of his friend's voice. 

It was about to begin.  The show must go on.

"Yoohoo Ron" Harry yelled, while knocking.

Taking a deep breath he replied  "Yeah, Harry?"

"Hurry, will you! If you don't get a move on, you're gonna miss breakfast. 

Hermione and I have been waiting half an hour."

He stumbled out of the bathroom to look at the clock.  0740.  Just

twenty minutes before Divination started.  Had it really taken him that long to pull

himself to his feet?

"Uh, I overslept.  I'll meet you in class."

"Ron?  Is everything all right?"

The clear sound of concern in his best friend's voice was almost his

undoing, but he steeled his resolve.

"Yeah, just slept through the alarm.  Later, Harry."  He took a deep breath before

stripping off his uniform and stepping into the shower.  He had to look like

everything was fine.  He couldn't let them know how much it hurt.

When he arrived in the great hall, Harry told Hermione all about his conversation with Ron.

  "I don't like this," he told her.  "He left The Three Broomsticks early last night and he

oversleeps this morning?  Something's wrong."

Hermione looked down at her food in silence.

"Hermione?"

She looked up into his questioning face.

"What's going on?"

"It's not you, Harry," she told him, looking away again.  "I think he's

just avoiding me."

"Avoiding you?  Why?"

She dropped her fork, with her appetite.  She answered quietly.  

"Seamus wasn't the first person to ask me to dinner last night."

"Oh?" Harry's eyebrows went up.  "So that's what that little conversation

you two had was about."

"That's not all of it," she admitted.  She glanced up to find Harry waiting

for her to continue.  "Ron... thinks it time we talked about... us."

"As in you and him?  As a couple?" he asked and she nodded.  "Well, that's

great!" he grinned, but the expression faded when she didn't look at him.  "Or...

maybe not?"

"He's all ready for us to start... I don't know...."

"Seeing each other?" Harry prompted.

"Yes."

"And I take it you're not."

"No," she replied.  "Maybe.  Oh, I just don't know."

"Hermione, you have to know how Ron feels about you.  It's written all over

his face every time he looks at you."

"Yes, I guess I do."

"And you can't tell me you don't feel the same thing."

"I don't know what I feel!" she shouted, then looked around nervously as

heads turned in their direction.  "Oh, Harry, I'm just all mixed up right now. 

And Ron seemed so sure and...."

"You got scared and turned him down."

She looked up at him with fire in her eyes, but it cooled almost

immediately upon contact with his steady, knowing gaze.  "I guess you could say

that."

"So now you think he's avoiding you?  That doesn't sound like Ron.  He's

not one to give up easily."

"Normally, no.  But... I think he was taking a risk in telling me how he

felt last night and when I told him I wasn't ready... well... I think it hurt

him.  Or maybe I'm wrong and he's just giving me what I asked for... time."

"Maybe," Harry considered.  "But if you want my opinion...."

"I know your opinion," she told him.  "Just let it go, Harry.  We've both

got some thinking to do."

"I could talk to him and...."

"No," she replied immediately.  "I told you last night.  I fight my own

battles."

"Hermione, this isn't a war."

"Maybe not, but this is between Ron and me.  You have to stay out of it."

"Okay, but I don't like seeing my two best friends hurting when it's so

obvious that you should just get together."

Hermione smiled.  "It's always simple for you, Harry.  With Ron and me,

it's always complicated."

"You can say that again."  He sighed.  "Okay, I'll butt out.  But I'm here

if you need to talk and I plan to tell Ron the same thing."

Reluctantly, she nodded.  "You'd better go or you'll be late Divination."

"Well, you'll be late to Mugglestudies," he reminded her.

"No I won't it doesn't start for an hour."

"Oh, yeah," he replied, quickly finishing his juice. 

" Well see you at lunch?"

"Transfiguration, remember," she replied.

"Right."

Harry walked away and left her to her thoughts.

Despite running all the way to the Divination, Harry was one minute late

stepping into the classroom.  The infraction, no matter how slight, was, of course,

noticed by  Mrs Trelawney who raised an eyebrow at Harry.

"A little tardy this morning, Mr. Potter?"

"The staircases changed," he replied.  

"Whatever, isn't Mr.Weasley with you?" she asked.

"Uh, no.  I'm sure he'll be here any minute."

"I should hope so," she replied.

Five minutes later, the doors opened again to admit Ron Weasley.

"You're late, Mr. Weasley," Trelawney informed him, her tone less amused than

it had been with Harry.

"I'm sorry, Professor.  It won't happen again," he replied, never meeting her

eyes as he walked directly to a chair in the back.

Trelawney hesitated for a moment, then stepped closer to Ron's chair.  "Is

anything wrong, Mr Weasley?" she asked with a frown.

"No, Professor," he replied.  She stared him for a moment, but the turned and exchanged a puzzled look with Harry, then walked back to her own

chair.

"All right, then.  We'll continue on page 129, how to read the stars."

During the class, Ron got paired up with Harry. Harry tried to make some conversation, while they were going through books, but Ron only answered really formal. An abnormal silence permeated the classroom. 

After a while, it was obvious the tension

was getting to everyone, including Professor Trelawney, but she didn't seem to be able to come up with any

way to question her student's uncharacteristic behavior when he was being a model student. 

Harry almost sighed with relief when the bell announced it was time for lunch.

Ron quickly packed his bag and, without another word, headed

toward the trap-door and dissapeared.  Harry quickly went after him. 

He walked in silence next to his best friend who

hadn't even acknowledged his presence. When he had almost reached the Great Hall, Harry looked at Ron to find that he hadn't followed him.

"Aren't you coming?" he asked.

"I have some things to do over lunch," Ron replied.

"Ron, you didn't have breakfast.  You can't skip lunch, too."

"I'll eat some chocolate frogs," he answered, still not meeting Harry's eyes. 

Harry stood in shock until the Ron started to walk away from him.

"Ron, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Harry," he answered, his tone so cool and flat it rang

warning bells in Harry's brain.

Taking a deep breath, Harry plunged in.  "Ron, I know you and Hermione are

having... some communication problems right now, but...."

"I'd rather not talk about that, if you don't mind, Harry," Ron

replied in the same emotionless tone, then started to walk away once more.

"Come on, Ron.  You can't just expect me to let this go.  Something is

really wrong here.  Why won't you talk to me?"

"Why should I want to talk to you?" Ron asked.

Harry's jaw dropped.  There was an edge of anger in his best friend's voice.  At

least, Harry thought, it was an emotion.  If anger was all he could get out of

Ron, he'd go for it.

"Well, forgive me for being concerned.  I thought we were friends!"

He walked the first steps of the stairs just as Ron's eyes met Harry's for the first

time.

"So did I."  Ron quickly run up to the stair, leaving

Harry too stunned to respond.  


	3. no one believes in me

Hello, hello Wow I got a lot reviews this time. I unfortunately had some problems opening them so I couldn't read them till this morning. I even send I review myself to see if I could read that one, but I could not. Anyways at least the problem is solved now(  
  
Inspector-Javert: they indeed talked about Seamus ( I hope you like this chap  
  
Mystery Woman: thank you, well here's the next chap, in a few days you will see more, more, more, more...  
  
Carey: this chap and the following chaps are even sadder, till it drives him over the edge...  
  
Aja Tres': boohoo my paragraphs just disappear( I've re-uploaded the last chap AGAIN and I hope now it wil show some paragraphs otherwise I'll go crazy! End good all good, that's all I'm going to say about the end of this story, but I think it's more then enough(  
  
Cosmoz: you're welcome. Yeah there are some big misunderstandings in this story. But that makes it great!!  
  
B'Elanna: great name ;p if you want to read the star trek version, just say so and I'll mail it to you Ron= Tom, Harry= Harry and Hermione = B'Elanna, it's nice to see that there's also a HP/ST freak just like me(  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the plot!  
  
Chapter three: No one believes in me  
  
Even when Ron had disappeared from his sight, Harry had a hard time remembering to breathe. The look in Ron's eyes was burned on Harry's brain. There had been none of the anger Harry had expected. The familiar blue eyes were clouded with such sadness and hurt that it was painful to see. When he finally came to himself, Harry's first impulse was to rush after Ron and demand to know what was wrong. But that hadn't worked before. It would most likely not work now. He thought for a moment, then made his decision and started to walk to the Great Hall again.  
  
^ *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
The rigid set of his shoulders slumped immediately as the door to his room closed. Ron let out the breath he had been holding and squeezed his eyes closed. He wouldn't cry again. He had to remain in control. It was so much harder now than it used to be. The pain was sharp and bright. It had taken all his concentration through the morning to keep his thoughts on school, not that he usually paid attention in Divination, but still... For once, he had almost hoped for some kind of unexpected test to give him something else to focus on other than the hurtful words that kept ringing over and over in his brain. He wasn't sure he could keep this up. It had taken longer than he had expected that morning to secure the mask in place. He had been late for Divination. He knew the professor felt the wrongness, but cold, short answers were all he could manage. His mind wouldn't conjure up any of his usual witty remarks. How could it when it was so busy with darker thoughts? He had been afraid Harry would follow him to his quarters. He couldn't face those innocent, pleading eyes again. He had let the mask slip once. He couldn't let it happen again. But he was so tired. So tired of trying to maintain the veneer, to hold the hastily constructed walls in place. He had less than an hour to rest before he had to march out again and face them all. He'd have to do a better job of it. Harry's sincere concern had almost broken through. How badly he had wanted to tell him what he'd heard. To beg him to tell him it was all a bad dream, some kind of mistake. But he couldn't take that risk. If he confronted him, Harry would be honest and tell him the truth. He had to believe he knew his friend well enough to know that. And he couldn't stand to hear it again, face to face, how their friendship was based on pity. The only thing worse would have been facing Hermione. It would happen sooner or later. How could he look into the eyes he loved and see the contempt in which she really held him? He could only pray he had time to build the walls more solidly before that happened. He knew that any crack would cause him to crumble. He had to concentrate on his duty to his parents, to his teachers. He still had to pass this year. He still had Dumbledore's confidence. It was all he had left.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"Hermione, we need to talk," Harry said striding across the openness of the Great HallaHaH and grabbing her by the arm. "Harry?" she asked in surprise as he steered her out the Great HallGred, not stopping until they were outside and out of earshot. "What's got into you?" "It's Ron. Something is very wrong." Her eyes grew large. "Did something happen? Was he injured or...." "Not physically," Harry replied, "but... I'm not sure how to describe it. Even the professor noticed it. Hell, everyone in the classroom could feel the tension." "Tension?" "First, he was late and he didn't even offer the professor an excuse. He was so... cold." "He was cold to Trelawney?" "To everyone." He was pacing back and forth in the confined space as he talked. "I don't know, maybe cold isn't the right world. He was... mechanical. Yeah, that's closer. He responded like a computer. He didn't look at anyone. He just sat there and did his homework and never cracked a joke, never spoke at all except when someone asked a question. I tried to talk to him, when we left for lunch, but he was just the same. He said nothing was wrong, but it was obvious something is. I thought he was angry at me for something. For a minute, I thought I was going to get a rise out of him, but...." "But what?" "It's got to be something I've done, but I don't know what it could be." "Harry!" Hermione grabbed his arm to stop the incessant pacing. "What did he say to you?" "It wasn't just what he said, it was the look on his face when he said it."  
  
He closed his eyes for a moment, then let out the breath he had been holding and related the details of their conversation. He looked up at her, desperate worry written on his face. Hermione stared at him, her mouth hanging open. "Something has really hurt him, Hermione and somehow, I'm a part of it." "Harry, you haven't... you couldn't do anything to hurt him. I know that and so does Ron." "I thought he did." Hermione looked away thoughtfully for a moment. Then, determination set her features. "Let's pay him a visit! Come on," she commanded and strode purposefully to the stairs. "What are we going to do? Barge in on him?" "No, but he has to come out sometime." Harry had to shuffle to keep up as she headed down the corridor.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Determined not to be late again, Ron stepped out of his room ten minutes before Transfiguration started only to find Harry and Hermione standing there waiting for him to emerge. The rush of panic he felt was reflected on his face when he saw them. Immediately he clamped down on the desire the flee back inside and looked at them directly. "Harry, Hermione" he nodded and turned to head down the corridor. Hermione instantly jumped in front of him to block his path. "If you'll excuse me, I have to get to the Transfiguration." "Well, you're just going to be a little late... again!" she told him. "Hermione," Harry whispered warningly, but she ignored him. "I see Harry has been carrying tales out of school," Ron said, standing stiffly erect, clutching his hands into fists to still their shaking. "Harry is worried about you," she told him. "And so am I." The fierceness melted from her features. "Something or someone has hurt you. I thought it might be me, because of what I said last night. Harry thinks he's done something to upset you, but he doesn't know what it could be. If we've done something to hurt you this badly, tell us. We want to understand. We want to make it right, if we can. We want to help you, Ron, but we can't if you won't talk to us." An ugly sneer crossed his face. "Funny, you didn't want to talk last night." "You caught me off guard. You... scared me. Things were moving too fast and I was still confused about what I was feeling." He shook his head. "I don't think you were confused. I think you knew exactly what you were feeling. You just thought you'd take pity on poor stupid Ron and let him down easy. Imagine my nerve, to actually think you could care about someone like me!" He pushed past her and rushed down the corridor. "Ron! Stop!" she rushed to catch his arm and spun him back toward her. "I do care about you! Is that what you want to hear?" "Yes," he replied. "It's what a wanted to hear last night. But now I know it's a lie. It's all been a lie! I know you thought you were being kind, but you never stopped to think how much crueller it was to make me believe in you." He looked at Harry. "In both of you," he turned back toward Hermione, "only to have that trust betrayed?" "Ron!" Harry cried. "You can't believe either one of us would betray you. My God, you're closer to me than a brother could be." All the time Harry was talking, Ron was shaking his head. "Just stop it!" he cried. "Leave me with what little dignity I have left. If you ever cared at all, just do that for me! Please!" "This is wrong. This is all wrong," Hermione told him. "Care about you? God, Ron, we love you!" "Please. Stop," he ground out between clenched teeth. "No more, okay?" He held out his hands in front of him as he backed away. "I'm begging you, no more!" With that he turned and ran away from them. By the time they reached him, he already reached the classroom and had closed the doors behind him. Hermione's stomach twisted as his words echoed in her mind. She turned to Harry and saw the same shock and pain mirrored on his face. "This isn't right." "My God, Harry, what are we going to do?" He took a deep breath, then put his hands on her shoulders. "If we press him now, we'll drive him even further away. I think we should wait." "But we can't just let him go off like that. You saw what kind of state he was in. He might do something...." "No," Harry denied her words before she could speak them. "He isn't going to do anything stupid during Transfiguration. We have to let him cool down and try again, try to keep things calmer. Something has convinced him we never really cared about him. We have to find a way to convince him we do." "We can't leave him alone." "We won't, we have to be calm. The last thing Ron needs right now is a scene in front of professor McGonagall and the rest of the class." Hermione nodded. "What could have done this to him, Harry?" Harry didn't answer. He had no answer. Ron almost burst through the door and rushed across the classroom to get a seat in the back "Mr. Weasley, a little quietness would have been in order." "I'm sorry, ma'am," Ron replied, not taking his eyes off his bag, his hands gripping the edge of the table. "I'll try be more quiet next time." "You certainly will." She continued to stand over Ron watching him as he pulled his hands loose and started to put his books on his table. She had almost decided to say something further when the classroom door opened again to release Harry and Hermione. "Sorry we're late, professor." "Tardiness is getting to be a habit with this class," McGonagall barked. "I heard from Professor Trelawney, that some people were late in her class too!" "It's my fault, ma'am," Hermione told her and saw Ron's back stiffen upon hearing her voice. "I detained Harry to help me with some books I wanted to use from the library. There were so many that we had to bring them to the common room first." McGonagall looked at her appraisingly for a moment before replying. "Very well." The look on the professor's face told anyone who saw it that she was less than pleased with the way Ron, Harry and Hermione had been acting of late. She wasn't about to put up with it much longer before she'd decide to get to the bottom of it. Hermione and Harry quickly moved to the nearest free table. "Mr Weasley, would you come forward to assist me in the next spell?" There was no response. "Mr Weasley?" Still no response. Hermione, who could see Ron's face in profile from her place, shot a frightened look toward Harry. Anger and frustration had built to the point of eruption for McGonagall. "Mr Weasley!" she shouted. Ron jumped and looked toward her, his eyes wide in shock. "P-Professor?" "My office. Now!" She turned on her heel without looking to see if he was following. Ron rose from his seat, struggling to keep his legs under him, and started after his teacher. When he reached the office, McGonagall was perched against the front of her desk, her arms folded in front of her. "Mr. Weasley, I am not accustomed to having to shout my requests to my students in order to obtain their attention." "No, ma'am. I'm sorry, Professor." "Sorry doesn't cut it, Mister. I want an explanation. You've been behaving oddly all day and now Mr Potter and Ms Granger seem to be catching this disease of erratic behaviour. I want to know why?" "I-I have no excuse, Professor. You have every right to give me detention." "Well, it's good to know I have your permission." "I didn't mean... that is... I'm sorry..." Giving up, Ron squeezed his eyes closed and clasped his hands behind his back. "You have nothing more to say for yourself?" "No, ma'am." For the first time since she'd reached the boiling point, McGonagall took a good look at the young man standing before her. He was pale as a ghost, his eyes were puffy and red and a little too bright, his face was drawn and his whole body appeared to be shaking. "Ron, what's wrong?" Her radical change in tone took him by surprise. "Wrong? Nothing, Professor." "Don't give me that," she snapped, then sighed. The last thing she needed to be right now was mercurial. "Are you ill?" "No, Professor." "Well, you'll excuse me for saying this, but you look like you're about to pass out." "I-I'm just a little tired, Professor. Didn't get much sleep last night's all." "Ron, you can't be tired and distracted now, the exams are on their way." "I won't let it happen again, Professor." "I don't think you can help it. I think you better go and see madam Pomfrey." She thought for a moment he was going to collapse and his pallor went even whiter. "No, please, Professor. I won't let you down. Please, just let me follow the classes." She looked at him for a moment. "Unless you can give me a good reason for why you're in the state you're in, I have no other choice, you look very ill. Just go and see her, maybe it's nothing." He hung his head in defeat. "Yes, Professor. You're right. I'm... I'm sorry." He raised his eyes to meet hers. "Shall I confine myself to my room, after that?" She stepped forward and put her hands on his arms and was shocked at the strength of the tremors passing through him. "Ron, I've no intention of punishing you. Frankly, I'm more than a little worried about your health." "I'm fine, ma'am." "No, you're not," she returned. "I want you to report to the doctor immediately. You will be staying at the hospital wing until she has certified you are well and I can in all conscience concur." "Please, Professor...." The pain and desperation in his eyes tore at her heart. It was all she could do not to reach out and stroke his brow. "Ron, you're ill. If you don't go to the hospital wing now, you'll collapse at your table. Now, can you make it to sickbay on your own, or would you like me to go with you?" He pulled himself up straighter. "No, Professor. I can make it on my own." "It's no failure to admit you're ill." "T-Thank you, P-Professor." She earnestly wished for him to talk to her, but it was obvious he wasn't about to. With a sigh, she released him and watched as he walked stiffly out of the office. She followed him to the doorway and watched as he walked downstairs. Everyone in the classroom watched her return alone, and she noted a furtive glance pass between Hermione and Harry. Perhaps this was a personal matter of some kind, she reasoned. Obviously, Ron's friends were aware at least that something was wrong. She was tempted to question them about it, but decided against it. She'd wait until she received the doctor's report. She knew she wouldn't stop worrying until she did. A few minutes later, Hermione rose from her table. "Professor, I need to Go to the bathroom." She knew she wasn't fooling the professor. She only prayed McGonagall wouldn't call her on it. Minerva McGonagall hesitated, then nodded. As her favourite student passed her on the way to the door, Mcgonagall said softly, "Mr Weasley should be in the hospital wing by now." Hermione turned to look at her in surprise, then seeing the understanding on the professor's face, she forced a timid smile and a whispered "thank you" before proceeding toward the door. 


	4. the walls are closing in on me

Hey sorry I didn't update until now. I kinda forgot. There's only one chap left after this one! I will post the end this week, cause I'm going on holiday, anways I hope you like this chap!

Please review!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing not even the plot!

Chapter four: The walls are closing in on me 

As soon as the doors closed, Ron fell back against the wall.  It was

finished.  He was finished.  The last thread holding him together had just

snapped.  He had lost McGonagall's confidence, soon Dumbledore would hear about this and than of course he would inform his parents. He wasn't

fit to go to school. McGonagall had been right.  It would be just short of

stupid for him to insist on remaining in his chair when he couldn't

even concentrate long enough to follow requests, let alone take notes, when his hands shook so violently

that he couldn't even write something down.  

His grandfather's voice rang in his ears.

*You've always been a failure, Ronald, and you always will be... a

failure... a failure... a worthless failure....*

And another voice joined the chorus:

...not worth the effort... worthless... worthless....

No wonder Harry and Hermione couldn't ever really care about him.  No one

could depend on him.  He was a failure at everything he tried.  No one could ever

love him.  It was all gone.  Everything he'd ever thought he'd had.

The tremors coursed through his body with so much force his knees collapsed

under him and he crashed to the floor.  Suddenly, everything seemed to close

in on him, growing smaller and smaller.  The air was becoming thinner, too, so

thin he couldn't seem to catch his breath.  His heart was pounding, trying to

break free of his worthless body.  A clear thought entered his mind.  Maybe he

would die here.  Could you really die of failure?  Maybe it would be better if

he did.  Better for everyone.  Maybe someone would even be sorry he was gone. 

For a little while... before they forgot all about him.  Then, one day, someone

would be talking in the great hall over dinner and say, "Back when that failure

was at school?  You remember?" and they'd spend the next ten minutes trying to

recall his name.  They'd finally give up.

Not worth the effort.

No, a part of his mind rebelled.  It isn't fair.  I've worked so hard, I've

tried my best.  I don't want it to end like this.  I don't want to be forgotten. 

I want someone to care about me, to be proud of me.  I want to prove myself...

to myself.  I don't want to die.  I don't want to die.

He didn't even notice someone walking up to him and his mind barely

registered someone calling his name in alarm.  Only when the familiar voice and gigantic shape came in a blur before his eyes did he

realize who had found him.

"H-Help me," he gasped.

"Hold on, Ron!" Hagrid called.  "We're just down the corridor from the hospital wing. 

I'll get you there."

Hagrid easily hefted Ron to his feet.  Ron could never have managed to

support himself alone, but he managed to keep his feet under him and moving as

Hagrid pulled his arm over his shoulder, grasped his waist with the other hand

and started moving down the hallway as quickly as he could.

The doors to sickbay opened as he approached and madam Pomfrey rushed

immediately to help Hagrid.  Just as she reached them, the last of Ron's strength

ran out and Hagrid found himself with the dead weight of the much smaller man. 

He just scooped him completely in his arms and quickly carried him to the nearest bed.

"What happened?" madam Pomfrey asked.

"I dunno," Hagrid replied.  "I found him collapsed on the flour. 

He's having trouble breathing."

The doctor quickly waved her wand over his body, frowned and than did it again once more. 

"Try to take slow, even breaths, Mr Weasley," he instructed.

"Don't... don't want... to... die...."

Madam Pomfrey gave him a sharp look.  "You are not about to die, I assure you. 

Not while I'm your doctor."

"No one... would... care."

Madam Pomfrey and Hagrid exchanged disbelieving looks.  "That's ridiculous!"

Pomfrey snapped.  "Now, concentrate on those breaths, Mr Weasley.  You're

hyperventilating, your heart rate is elevated and you're showing all the classic

signs of shock, but I can find nothing wrong with you that could have caused

this.  I need you to calm down and you'll be fine."

Ron closed his eyes and concentrated on madam Pomfrey's voice as he continued

to speak.  He could feel the tightness in his chest lessening.  The walls weren't closing in on him any longer.  He had plenty of air.  He kept reminding himself of those facts.

"That's better.  You're going to be all right."  He could feel the doctor's

hand resting on his chest, feel it move with every rise and fall of breath he

took.  The touch was somehow reassuring.

He could also feel a hand on his shoulder and he turned toward its owner. 

Hagrid was watching him intently, a look of distress on his expressive features. 

When he saw Ron looking at him, he forced a broad grin.  "That's it, Ron.  You're

going to be just fine.  Just fine!"

"Thank... you," he whispered.

"You're doing very well, Mr Weasley.  You were just scared, but you're going

to be all right."

"Scared...." Ron repeated.

"I don't know if you were scared, but I sure was, yessiree, I can tell

you!" Hagrid's whole body bobbed as he talked.

"You?" Ron asked.

Hagrid looked at him in surprise.  "Of course, I was, and I'm not ashamed

to admit it.  When I rounded a corner and there you were, gasping for breath and

mumbling about dying...." He shivered.  "It's scary to find a good friend in that

state."

"Friend?" Ron asked, and there was something in the way his eyes

desperately searched Hagrid that shocked the half-giant.

"Of course, you're my friend!  I certainly hope.  You're one of the

best friends I have, Ron, you know that."  He squeezed Ron's shoulder even

tighter and was shocked again to see tears in the man's eyes brimming over and

rolling down the side of his face.

At that moment, the doors opened again and Hermione Granger came

rushing in.  The sight before her froze her in mid-stride.  "Ron?" she asked, her

voice cracking.

"No!" he cried as soon as he saw her.  "No, I don't... I can't...."  Once

again he started gasping for air.

"Mr Weasley!" Madam Pomfrey called.  "Ron!  Calm down!"

"Please, Hermione,... I... I can't...."

"Ms Granger, you'll have to leave immediately," madam Pomfrey ordered. 

Hermione looked at him in disbelief.

"No, I can't just leave him like this.  I have to talk to him!"

The doctor stepped away from his patient to stand directly before her

speaking in a low, tight voice.  "Mr Weasley is suffering from a panic attack. 

It is important he remain calm and not be excited.  Whatever it is you feel you

need to talk to him about will have to wait until he has calmed down and gotten

some rest.  Ms Granger!"

She pulled her eyes away from Ron to look at madam Pomfrey.  "Right now, the

best way you can help him is to leave this hospital wing immediately!  I'm sorry, but

I don't have time to be tactful."  He turned toward the half-giant.  "Hagrid,

could you please go with Ms Granger and see that she understands the situation. 

I don't need two patients on my hands.  And please see to it that I have no

further interruptions."

"Right away," Hagrid replied, taking hold of Hermione's arm gently,

yet firmly.  "Come on, Hermione.  Right now, we have to help Ron the best way we

can, even if it is by leaving him alone."

"But he's not alone.  He has to understand that."

"Not now!" Hagrid whispered fiercely, steering her toward the door.  

Once outside, Hermione turned away from him and pounded the wall.  Hagrid could only stand and watch and feel utterly helpless.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

"Now," madam Pomfrey said to Ron.  "We'll have no more of this.  Whatever it

is that's upset you, you have to let it go.  You're safe here.  No one will

bother you.  You don't have to see anyone unless you want to, do you understand?"

Ron nodded, trying again to control the panic that had overtaken him.  Pomfrey pulled a stool up next to the bed and waited until her patient had

begun to relax.  "I gave you a mild tranquilizer.  That should help."

"Yes," Ron replied.

"Now, would you like to calmly tell me what happened?"

Ron shook his head.  "I just... couldn't stop shaking and... the wall's

seemed to be closing in on me.  I couldn't breathe."

"What you've suffered is a severe panic attack.  Have you ever experienced

claustrophobia before?"

"No, never," Ron replied.

"Then I must assume this was just a manifestation of the attack."  She

waited a moment to let this sink in.  "Would you like to talk about it?"  Ron

shook his head, and the doctor sighed.  "I realize I'm probably not the first

person you would think of to confide in.  I'm quite aware of the reputation of

my bedside manner, but you should know that as your physician, anything you tell

me will be held in the strictest of confidence.  My obligation is to you.  If

what you tell me endangers the shool, I must inform the headmaster of that fact, but

only that fact.  Do you understand?"

"Why?" Ron asked.

Madam Pomfrey frowned.  "Why what?  Why must I inform the headmaster of any...." 

Ron was shaking his head.

"No, why would you care about me?"

Madam Pomfrey looked taken aback.  "Well, aside from the obvious answer that

you are my patient and your well-being is my primary purpose for existence, I'd

like to think I might be able to help you for purely personal reasons.  You are

one of my most frequent visitors here in the hospital wing and...," She stopped.  "Mr.

Weasley, please, talk to me.  As an equal, maybe even as a friend?"

"An equal, a friend?"

"You understand the concept, I assume," he retorted.

"I... thought I did."

"This has to do with Ms Granger, doesn't it?"  When Ron's eyes widened, the

doctor placed a hand on his shoulder again.  "Try to remain calm.  I don't know

what has upset you, but whatever it is, I understand it has caused you great

distress.  The first step is getting through this crisis is to let out some of

those feelings."

"I'm not very good at that, ma'am," Ron admitted.

"Believe me, I'm aware of that."

Ron thought for a moment then looked at madam Pomfrey.  "I guess I just realized

how little my life is worth.  Shouldn't have taken me so long, I know, but I made

the mistake of letting myself believe I could actually make something of my

life."

"And you've decided you don't want to do that anymore?"

Ron looked at her in surprise.  "No, I... I want to.  I wish I could.  It's

just... I've always been a failure and I always will be."  He laughed.  "My

grandfather told me that all the time.  I didn't believe

him.  Even at primary school, when I had no friends, I kept thinking someday I would prove to him how wrong

he was.  But he wasn't wrong."

"He most certainly was," the doctor informed him flatly.  "Without your help, we might all be dead now! Remember all those times when you helped Mr Potter with his struggle against to He-who-musn't be-named!" 

Ron was surprised by the passion in the doctor's voice.

"Mr Weasley, I've learned a lot about children or in your case young adults and their behaviour since I started here.  I'd like to think I've grown into a better... person because of that

knowledge.  One thing working at this school has taught me is that everyone has the

potential to become more than they are.  You can't live up to anyone's

expectations but your own.  Perhaps others can be proud of you, give you the strength to try harder, but ultimately, you have no one to live up to but yourself."

"Don't you think some people are just destined to be failures?"

"That's rubbish!  And you, of all people...."

"Me?"

"Yes, you!  Mr Weasley, you may be quite irritating at times, and I've

certainly been in a position to observe that side of your character, but you have

all the qualities that make for a fine student and a good person.  You have

proven yourself to this school on numerous occasions.  You've made a place for

yourself here.  That hasn't suddenly disappeared.  You have friends."

"I'm not so sure about that,  ma'am."

"Well, you can be sure.  Didn't you see the look on Hagrid's face, not the mention that one on Hermione's."  A hint of a smile appeared on madam Pomfrey's face.  "Now, something has happened to make you question your own

value and I want to know what it is."

"I don't think I can talk about it."

"I think you must.  And I would be... gratified... to know that you felt

you could trust me."

"I do," Ron answered without hesitation.  "It's just...."

"I'm the closest thing to a school counsellor you're going to find on Hogwarts.  So.  talk to me."

Ron smiled.  "You're bedside manner is improving, Madam Pomfrey."

"Thank you.  Now, talk."


	5. i do have friends, i do, i do

Hello people  
  
I'm glad to inform you, that this isn't the last chap after all! There is still one more to come  
  
Chapter five: I do have friends, I do, I do....  
  
The smile faded away. Ron hesitated and when he started talking it was difficult to put his thoughts together, but the more he said, the more the words just seemed to flow out.  
  
Harry could hardly wait until the end of his class to rush out off the classroom. As soon as he had packed his stuff he headed for the hospital wing. When he arrived, he found Hagrid standing outside as a guard. "I'm sorry, Harry, but I can't let you go in." "What do you mean you can't let me in? This is the hospital wing. I have every right...." "I understand that, but madam Pomfrey is quite busy treating Ron and asked me to be sure no one disturbed them." "Hagrid...." Harry sighed. "Can you at least tell me what's wrong with Ron?" The half-giant told him about finding Ron on the floor and described the entire encounter with Hermione. "I convinced Hermione to go to her dormitory for a while. I imagine she could use some company." "Hagrid, I don't know why Ron thinks we're no longer his friends, but he's wrong. You know that." "Of course, I do. But I'm not the one that matters here. I'm sure this is some kind of misunderstanding, but I think you need to wait until Ron is ready to listen. Right now, he's emotionally overwrought. Give the doctor a little time to help him." Harry nodded unhappily. "I'll go talk to Hermione." Hagrid smiled. "That's a good idea. I think she could use a friend right now and, if you don't mind my saying so, you look like you could too!" "What we both need is for Ron to understand how wrong he is. We need to know why." "You'll have time for that. We're all going to be on this school for a long time." Harry clapped Hagrid on the shoulder, then turned to go find Hermione.  
  
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Madam Pomfrey walked towards the fireplace and threw some powder in it. "Hello, Albus could you please get Minerva and come down? I have something I need to discuss with you." "I'm on my way," he replied.  
  
When they entered the hospital wing, they were surprised to find madam Pomfrey leaning against one of the beds, a pensive expression on her face. McGonagall looked around for Ron, but he was nowhere to be found. "Poppy? Didn't Mr Weasley come to you?" "Yes, Minerva, he did." He explained to her how Hagrid found Ron on the flour and brought him to the hospital wing. "He was experiencing a panic attack, a severe one." Dumbledore frowned. "What caused this attack?" "Headmaster, I'm not at liberty to discuss the particulars of Mr Weasley's personal situation, but he has agreed to allow me to explain his current mental and emotional state to you. You are aware that Mr Weasley's feelings of self-worth have never been what you would call strong." "Yes, I know," he replied, still puzzled. "Recent events have caused him to question his value to others. I believe this attack was the culmination of a series of unfortunate events. The last straw, as it were, was the realization that he was unfit to go to school." Mc Gonagall paled. "You're saying he was already in a fragile emotional state and when I send him to you, it pushed him over the edge?" "I'm afraid so, Minerva." she looked directly at her. "There is no reason to berate yourself. Your actions were entirely appropriate under the situation. Quite frankly, I don't know what else you could have done and I'm glad you directed him here." "I could have been a little less rigid teacher and a little more concerned mentor." "You are a teacher. You had no way of knowing Mr Weasley's state of mind. You're a very perceptive woman, but you are not a mind reader." "What can I do to help?" "Now that you understand the situation, perhaps it would be a good time for you to be a concerned mentor. What he needs most right now is the assurance that the people he respects consider him to be of value, not only as a student, but as a person." "Where is he?" "He's sleeping in one of the private rooms. I wanted to give him some privacy and I couldn't keep the hospital closed indefinitely." At McGonagall's puzzled expression, she explained. "After I managed to get him calmed down, we talked at length. Hagrid was kind enough to make sure our discussion was uninterrupted. I just sent him away." "Can I see him? I won't disturb him if he's sleeping." "Of course, Albus." she indicated for the headmaster and Mc Gonagall to proceed her. Even relaxed in sleep, Ron's face showed signs of utter exhaustion. His face was still pale and drawn. This time, McGonagall didn't resist the urge to brush the hair back from his forehead and left her hand resting there for a moment. She felt a movement and quickly withdrew to find Ron's eyes fluttering open. She looked down at him with compassion filling her expression. "I'm sorry, Ron, I didn't mean to disturb you." "It's... okay, Professor," he replied. "I'm just kind of tired right now." "Of course, you are," she smiled, then her lips almost formed a pout. "And I'm sorry I didn't do more to help you earlier when I had the chance." Ron shook his head. "You were right. I was acting stupid. I didn't give you any choice." "But still, I should have paid a little more attention. You have got to realise that you are a very valued person on this school." "I indeed agree with professor McGonagall, Ron. Maybe I should have told you sooner, but without you Voldermort would probably be on the lose again." "You gave me a second chance when he came to school with that stolen car. I owe you everything." He shook his head. "You owe me just your loyalty and your devotion. Nothing more."  
  
"But you've given us so much more than that. It was never my intention to send you off school. And I don't think you're not good enough to be here. I just send you to madam Pomfrey for the time it took you to get well. I should have made that clear." McGonagall popped in. Ron looked as if he wanted to say something, but couldn't. Dumbledore continued. "Giving you the opportunity was the easy part. You made a place for yourself here on your own. You have friends here. A lot of people care about you, Ron." "Some people just feel sorry for me," he replied. "I know they're just trying to be kind, but I don't want their pity." "By now you should know the difference between pity and compassion. When a friend is in pain, you hurt with them. That isn't pity." Dumbledore placed his hand on Ron's arm. "Ron, I understand that your youth was a difficult one. And it may be harder for you to recognize a friend. But we are a family here. Just like a family, some relationships are closer than others. But we support each other in so many ways every day. I have no pity for you. I'm sorry for all you've had to suffer, but I've seen how strong you are. Whatever it is that has caused you to question how important you are to us, it's very wrong." "Thank you, headmaster," he replied. "Now, you're tired and you need to sleep. I just want you to know that as soon as you're feeling better, I want you to inform me and I'll see to it that you're released from the hospital wing immediately." "Thank you, Headmaster, but I kinda like it in here." he replied with a tired smile. As Dumbledore en McGonagall walked out, they passed the doctor standing in the door. "He's going to be all right, isn't he?" McGonagall asked, feeling the need for reassurance herself. "He has some things to straighten out and he need to be a little emotionally stronger to handle them, but I'm sure he'll be all right." She smiled. "Thank you, Poppy"  
  
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When Ron woke up he found Ginny sitting beside him smiling down at him. "High time you woke up," she commented. "How long was I asleep?" "About twelve hours, but you needed the rest. Now, you need something to eat." she turned away toward the table behind her. "That's okay, Ginny, I don't want to be any trouble." "You're a lot of trouble, Ron," she replied, bringing a tray to him, "but a lot of us think you're worth it. I still don't get where this all comes from, but what I do know is that you are going to be alright!" He sat up and she adjusted the bed to support him and placed the tray on his lab. "I convinced Hagrid not to send any of his home made cookies. So he spent two hours in the kitchen trying some new recipe's." "He shouldn't have...." "He cares, Ron. We all care." He looked at her narrowly. "You've been talking to madam Pomfrey." "So? You're my brother," she replied. "I wanted to know what was going on with ickle Ronniekins!" "You're so kind." He said, the sarcasm dripping from his words. "Your welcome." She grinned "I'm sorry, if I didn't always be nice to you. You've always been a good sister and friend to me, Ginny. Better than I deserve." "You deserve so much more than you've ever gotten out of life, Ron. And you deserve friends who care about you as much as you care about them. I count on you to be there for me, you know." "I guess I'm just an ungrateful jerk." She shook her head. "Just an insecure one. Everyone deserves to be loved.  
  
And you are. Please, try to believe that." "I'll try," he whispered. "Ahem." They both looked up at the sound from the doorway and Ron was more than a little surprised to find Snape standing there. "You up to a short visit?" "I, uh, guess so," Ron replied with a little reluctance. "I'll just go than," Ginny said as she left the room, offering one last smile to Ron before she disappeared. "Weasley . uhm Ron, the headmaster told me what happened." "I see." Ron replied, still founding Snape's appearance very strange. "I know that we don't get along very well." He grinned. "Well, actually we don't get along at all. But anyway that's not the point. Headmaster Dumbledore asked me to go and visit you, so I did. I'm not sure what it is, he wants me to tell you, so. well." Snape seemed to search for the right words. "I know you have some personal problems right now. That you feel insecure or something like that, so maybe I could help when I tell you that sometimes I come a little hard on you. You've always had a talent for bringing out the ogre in me. But I wouldn't get angry, if I didn't think you had talent, well except in the case of Mr Longbottom, of course." Ron just stared at him, not able to believe what he just had heard, "Well I think I better give you some time to think, now." and with no other word he spun around and walked quickly out of the room, his cloak fluttering behind him.  
  
*^*^*^*^* Please Review Thnx 


	6. i am alive

Hey people this is the last chap For the once who are interested in reading the Voyager version of this fanfic, just mail me at b_elanna@paris.com and I'll send it to you ASAP  
  
Chapter six: I am alive  
  
Ron ate his lunch, which was surprising delicious, and got in another nap. Now he was awake and becoming restless. He felt like he should get up and get on with his life, but a part of him was still afraid to leave the safety of his little sickbay sanctuary. Funny, it was the first time he could remember that he hadn't want to get out of the hospital wing as fast as he could. But the idea of facing Harry and Hermione again still made his muscles tense up and he had to consciously fight against the return of the feeling of panic. It was good to know that he did have friends, and he was willing to believe that now. It had surprised him and warmed him to have so many people willing to go out of their way to prove to him that they cared. Even Snape. He shook his head at the memory. He might have been able to ascribe McGonagall's concern and that of Ginny, Neville and madam Pomfrey, to pity, but he couldn't even conceive of Snape feeling sorry for him. There had been a time when the former death eater would have liked nothing better than to see him suffer. Now.... Maybe if he could gain the respect of his former enemy, he really had accomplished something in his life. "Feeling a little better?" madam Pomfrey asked as she stepped into the room. "Yeah, ma'am, I guess I am." "It was nice to see you smiling as I came in," the physician told him. "Was I?" Ron asked. "Yes." "I was thinking about professor Snape. I guess making his life miserable is a good enough reason to go on living." "You never wanted to stop living, Ron." "I'm not so sure of that, madam Pomfrey." "I am. When Hagrid brought you in here, you were saying you didn't want to die. You still have a lot to prove to yourself. You don't have to worry about the rest of us. We've had enough proof to satisfy us." Ron narrowed his eyes at madam Pomfrey. "I know I asked you this before, ma'am, but I still need to know. Why do I seem to matter so much to you?" Pomfrey considered a moment before answering. "You think that you have insecurities, Mr Weasley, and I do not intend to make light of them. Although I'm not that young anymore I do remember how it was being a teenager. It wasn't always fun and I had all kinds of expectation of life. Of course not all of my dreams came true, but still I'm happy and grateful for the people around me. And I'm still growing and learning more. I guess I still have something to prove to myself as well." Ron smiled. "You know, you're right. I'm still young, who knows who I'll turn out to be." "Does that answer your question to your satisfaction?" "Yes, it does," Ron replied. "And I've been saying this a lot lately, but thank you, madam Pomfrey." She gave him a smile. "Now, back to the original purpose of this visit. I believe it's time you had a couple more visitors. You've recovered sufficiently and I hope you've been heartened by the proof of your value as a friend to some of us. The next step in your recovery is to confront the heart of the problem. You need to talk to Mr Potter and Ms Granger." Ron felt himself tense again. "I'm not sure I'm ready for that, ma'am." "It won't help you or them to put it off. Frankly, I'm sure there has been some kind of misunderstanding. I've received repeated inquiries as to your health from both of them while you've been in here. Their concern seems genuine and, I might add, in the case of Ms Granger, I am concerned that this episode has been almost as traumatic for her as it has for you." Ron looked at her in surprise. "She's frantically worried about you. From what Hagrid told me, she was near collapse herself after I ejected her from the hospital wing just after you were brought in. I think perhaps the question you should consider now isn't whether or not their friendship for you is genuine, but how much you really care about them." Ron swallowed hard and looked away. He bit his lower lip for a moment as he came to a decision. "Madam Pomfrey, would you tell Harry and Hermione I want to see them?"  
  
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Hermione was so tired of crying. She'd spent hours alone in her room doing just that before Harry came. When they started talking, the tears came back once more, only this time, she wasn't crying alone. She felt like she'd lost everything that was important to her and she didn't even know why. She and Harry had gone over everything they could think of that had happened in the last few days and neither of them could understand what had happened to make Ron doubt them. The only thing she knew for sure was that nothing mattered more to her than to have Ron back. Maybe it had taken this kind of shock to make her realize just how much she cared for him. Now, she had to convince him. But would she get the chance? As if in answer to that thought, someone knocked on the door. "Ms Granger, please open up." The voice of Madam Pomfrey sounded from behind the door Her heart leapt into her throat as she stood up to open the door "Hello Hermione. I wanted to inform you that Ron is ready to see you. If you would be so kind to inform Harry about it too, You can come when you're ready." "Thank you." Hermione sighed from relief.  
  
Harry and Hermione were both very nervous as they stepped into Ron's hospital room. Madam Pomfrey had warned them that Ron was still to be considered fragile, but that it was important that they should resolve this matter or it would jeopardize his ultimate recovery. Hermione noticed Pomfrey hovering close to the door as they went inside with no indication that she intended to leave the vicinity. A part of her was still angry with her for having her forcibly removed from The hospital wing when Ron was brought in. But another part of her could understand that they had had to wait for Ron to be ready to talk. Hadn't that been what she'd asked of him that night-was it only two days ago? It seemed like a lifetime. "Harry, Hermione," Ron greeted them, his tension apparent in the way he sat so stiffly in the bed. His eyes were wary and his expression closed, but it was hard for him to maintain it. "Ron," Harry replied cautiously. "How are you feeling?" "Better, actually," he replied. "I've had a lot of time to think and some people who've helped me put things into perspective." "It should have been us," Hermione said softly. "We wanted to be here for you." "You're here now," he replied. "Thanks for coming." "Oh, Ron, we just want to understand what we did to hurt you," Hermione almost sobbed. Ron stared at her as if he were desperately trying to see the truth in what she said. "Why don't you trust us anymore?" "That night.... at the Three Broomsticks...." "Oh, Ron, I'm sorry I was such a coward, I didn't mean to...." He waved her to stop. "It wasn't that, Hermione. Yes, I was disappointed, but I was also mad at myself for pushing you when I should have known you weren't ready. I decided to come back and apologize." Harry frowned. "But you didn't come back." "Yes, I did," he replied, looking anywhere but at them. "I was just about to come in when I heard you about to leave. I... kind of lost my own courage and I hid around the corner." He forced himself to look at them. "I heard you talking before you left the bar." Hermione frowned in confusion. "You heard us talking? About what? I don't even remember what we were talking about." Harry looked just as perplexed. "Funny. I can't seem to forget it," Ron replied tightly. "You... were talking about me. You had obviously told Harry about our talk and...." "Wait a minute. Hermione didn't tell me about what you talked about until the next morning. She thought that was why you hadn't joined us for breakfast." It was Ron's turn to frown. He looked at Hermione. "But I heard you. Harry mentioned my asking you out and said he was surprised you didn't tell me what you really thought of me." Ron clutched the blanket that covered his legs and stared at it in his hand as he continued. "You said I couldn't seem to get it into my head that you weren't interested in me and Harry said I wasn't too bright." "No, that's not true!" Harry protested, still too shocked by what he was hearing to reason it out. "Harry said that you were too good for me and you said you felt sorry for me. That's why you've been pretending to be my friend... out of pity. Hermione said I wasn't... worth the effort." Tears had appeared in his eyes and they began to roll down his face. "I guess it wasn't important enough for you to even remember it." Hermione stood wide-eyed staring at him in utter shock. "Wait!" Harry cried, turning his head as if trying to resurrect something from the distant past. "I remember now! Ron, you idiot, we weren't talking about you. We were talking about Seamus Finnegan!" Ron's eyes flew to Harry's face. "Seamus Finnegan?" "Yes!" Harry crowed, then turned to Hermione. "Remember, Hermione. Seamus had just hit on you and was about to again when I rescued you with the excuse that we had to go over some potion-essay." Hermione turned to him still stunned. "Y-Yes, I remember. We were talking about him asking me on a date. I went on and on about how dense he was and how wonderful he thought he was and that he was really so superficial and...." She looked back at Ron in horror. "Oh, God, you believed I was talking about you?" Ron couldn't speak. All he could do was stare at them. Harry shook his head. "Oh, Ron, how could you think we'd say anything like that about you? Don't you know by now how important you are to us?" Harry marched up to the bed and grabbed Ron in a hug. "After all we've been though, I know you'd rather die than see me hurt. Don't you know I feel the same way?" Ron's arms wrapped around Harry and hung on for dear life. This was "his" Harry! His best friend was back. It had all been a terrible misunderstanding after all. All that pain... and he had caused them pain too. "Harry," he sobbed, "can you ever forgive me?" "Forgive you? What the hell for?" "For... not trusting you." "There's nothing to forgive. I'm just so damned glad to have you back." Harry pulled away and looked at Ron's tear-stained face as his own tears moistened his cheeks. "Just don't let it happen again. Okay? It has been quite boring without you, you know!!" And that was it as far as Harry was concerned. Ron thought his heart would burst with joy. He hadn't been wrong about Harry. He had found a one-in-a-  
  
million friend. "I don't know how I could have been so quick to judge you. I was so wrong.  
  
I'm so sorry." Harry shook his head. "Don't waste the effort in feeling guilty over this.  
  
I know how insecure you can be. I guess we'll just have to try even harder to make sure you know how much you mean to us." "I still remember, Harry. All those times you stood by me and supported me. I'll never forget that. That's what I thought I'd lost." "I meant it then and I mean it now. You're my friend. No one gets away with hurting you, not even you!" He gave Ron one more reassuring smile, then glanced back over his shoulder. "Now, I think I'll go tell madam Pomfrey she doesn't have to worry anymore." He clapped Ron on the shoulder and squeezed his hand once more before walking out the door. Ron looked up at Hermione. She stood frozen in the same position she had been, tears rolling down her face and her hands shaking. "Oh, Hermione, I'm so sorry," Ron whispered, then he threw back the blanket and launched himself off the bed. He stood before her for just a moment before gently pulling her into his arms. Slowly, her arms moved around his neck and she buried her face against his chest. "I remember all those things I said. For you to hear them and think.... Oh, Ron, how that must have hurt you!" "Shhh," he murmured in her ear. "It's all over now. I just hope you can forgive me for doubting you. I know how hard it is for you to trust someone. How can I ask you to trust me when I didn't trust you?" "How could you think I'd ever say such things about you?" she asked. "Because I was afraid they were all true," he admitted. Hermione pulled back and looked at him in astonishment. "You're not stupid or shallow," she protested. "Sometimes I feel like I am," he replied. "I feel like I've been a failure all my life, until I came to Hogwarts. I guess I just have trouble accepting my good fortune. I can't help being afraid this is all some kind of a dream and I'll wake up and my life will be just as worthless as ever." "You're life has never been worthless. So, primary school didn't go very well, big deal. You always kept trying and look where you are now! You just needed half a chance that's all. You were just as scared of losing what we all have here as I was of admitting how much I love you." Ron caught his breath and stared at her. "Hermione, you just said you love me." She nodded and smiled as the tears kept falling. "I seem to suffer from the same problem. I can't quite believe anyone could actually love me." "Why not?" "Why did you think it was so hard for someone to love you?" Ron closed his eyes and grinned. "Touche." She laughed. "You know, we're quite a pair." "Yes, we are," he said firmly. "And now that I have you, I'm not gonna let go. I love you, too, Hermione. I have for a long time." "I think I've loved you for a long time, too. I just wasn't as brave as you are. I thought the risk was too great. But when I thought I might lose you forever, I realized what the real risk was. I don't want to lose you, Ron Weasley." "You're not going to," he promised. "I promise I'll never hurt you again." She put her hand over his lips. "Don't make promises you can't keep. I know you mean it. So do I, with all my heart, but we both know life has a way of throwing you curves. It's enough to know that you love me. It's more than enough." "No more doubts?" "None." He pulled her close against him once more, and this time, his lips descended on hers. Like a starving man who'd just found an oasis, he couldn't seem to get enough of the feel of her, the smell of her, the taste of her. He had thought he'd lost her, or worse, that he'd never really had her at all. Now, he knew she was his. Hermione's hands played over his back, his neck and up to hold the back of his head as their kiss deepened. She remembered her desire for him at the Yule Ball and at so may other occasions. She wanted him with all her being and she still couldn't quite believe that he'd really want her too. When they finally broke the kiss, they were both breathless. Ron swayed a little and Hermione held him tighter to steady him. "Are you okay?" she asked, concern creasing her face. Ron's fingers moved up to trace the small lines of worry, tracing her lips, her eyes. "I'm fine," he assured her. "I've just had a little trouble recently losing my breath. As soon as I find it, you take it away again." She smiled and caught his hand. "I think we both need to get some nourishment. Why don't we find Harry and head for the great hall," he suggested. Hermione turned her hand so Tom's was holding hers. "Why don't we forget Harry until tomorrow. He's a good friend. He'll understand. You take me to The Three Broomsticks and we'll have that conversation and food you were talking about." Tom pressed his lips against her forehead and laughed. She could feel the vibration all the way through her body and she trembled in response. "Come on!" he whispered, against her skin. "Let's find madam Pomfrey and get me sprung." Reluctantly, she released him. Still holding her hand, he tugged her after him as he left the little room, leaving behind his solitude as well.  
  
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"Welcome back, Mr Weasley," McGonagall greeted as Ron and Hermione stepped into the classroom. "Your absence was noted." Ron smiled at his Transfiguration's teacher. "Thank you, Professor. You might also notice that I'm five minutes early this morning." "I'm glad to see you've learned punctuality in your absence," she responded, while smiling. Ron just shook his head. He reached out and quickly gave Hermione's hand a squeeze before they each took place next to Harry. When they were all turning rabbits into slippers. Ron said to a passing Mc Gonagall: "I have it from a reliable source that the classroom has been quite a boring place in my absence." "Really?" McGonagall asked. "And just who is this source?" Ron made the zipper-like motion in front of his mouth. "My lips are sealed, Professor." "Not likely," Hermione remarked from her seat and shared a warm smile with the guy she loved. "Well, I wouldn't want to disappoint anyone. Did I ever tell you about the time that my brothers and I sneaked in this luscious..." "Careful," Hermione warned. He turned to her and continued, "...pepperoni pizza?" Harry leaned toward the Hermione . "I think I've created a monster," he whispered a little too loudly. Ron glanced at his neighbours again and flashed them both a stunning grin. "Maybe," Hermione replied, "but he's all ours!" Ron's grin wouldn't fade for the entire class. It was nice to be home.  
  
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^THE END  
  
I hope you all liked it.  
  
Please review! 


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